we turn the wheel to which way we feel

til i'm lost and i cannot find you there.

its funny because contrary to my last post, this one isn't so sunshiney. its fair outside, yeah. but i don't feel great. it wouldn't have mattered to you before, you would cross the world for me then, but i don't think you would now. and i don't wanna think that's true. i guess that's why sometimes i just want to cry. walking away from something two people knew as perfect, seeing someone look at you and the good feelings they had for you disappear more and more every time until i wonder why i am still standing here drawing you pictures and wanting to hear you play music. you're so good at it all. such a charming person. and so skillful at walking away for whatever reason and coming back and taking my heart again when you please

not that i don't want you to have my heart

i do

and that's why i feel so stupid

stupid emily. but you'll never know the half of it, and i promised you that i'd always be this way, with this "spark" even if it doesn't work out. i promised before we even knew, but i'll still keep it. i remember everything i promised you

drive home, cry, take a nap

eat which wich and go to play practice

i don't think you'll call but i want you to prove me wrong

3 more months if it was meant to be

life goes on