don't look at me that way

watching tv shows or movies on those dumb channels, nick and disney. always makes me cynical. i mean in highschool, its not like that. we're not all this together. we don't all have someone that wants to kiss us at the end of an amazing prom night. we don't all have perfect voices and the same feelings for each other all the time. sure thing i'm a dreamer, and i love a happy ending. but seriously. i'm not even being bitter really, it just makes me want to laugh. its a shame they're making the little kids think that's life

we're not all rockstars and webshow hosts and students at a beautiful school in california
sorryyyyyyy

HURRICANE?!

oh. school started too. and as expected i want summer back

sayonara summer

the summer is overrrrr. and its pretty disappointing to me. i've gotten totally used to this staying up late on the phone, or drawing, texting all the time, myspace filled days things. and now its all ending. so tomorrow i will wake up at a lovely 6 am to get onto a bus and fill my brain with useless knowledge of classroom procedures. and be overwhelmed and happy and tired all at the same time

there's not much else to say about that

except this summer's been alright. and the people that made it, are like way better than alright. haha. i wish i had more time to spend with them, and more time spent. but i mean...we still have weekends right? ahaha.

off to try some last minute math...
wish me luck.
rip summer of 2008

you're not a friend of mine

i am just a passerby...

what if these moments between us mean more than we could dream?
would i have grace for you and you for me?


i am draining myself with history
i try to think of it all in a funny way. you know, adams and jefferson
they had tea, then didn't talk for 12 years after their whole political party disagreements. then one day jefferson's daughter dies and adams' wife is like AWW THAT SUCKS. so she writes a letter, and jefferson's like, oh hey they still care! lets be best friends again!

then adams is like, oh no you are mistaken. rejecteddddd. sorry.
and he tries to write an autobiography but it ends up just a book that disses all the dumb political people and issues in his life cause apparently he was like, an emotional mess.

then adams finally gets man enough and he's like wellll okay, i'll write my half best friend half hated party opponent. and then its all fine and dandy and they have like 158 correspondences and both coincidentally die the day of american independence.




THIS IS MY LIFE THE PAST 3 NIGHTS



don't you kind of want to get me away from that? haha. i sure do...

history

my summer is at this point, consumed in history
the summer is also, history
as school starts in three days.




sometimes i want to say things that i can't and don't want to say
if that made any sense to you, then i'm proud
here is the space in which i would type these things
___________
_________________________________
_______________________
_______________






and with that
the summer thats turning to history
is going to be spent doing history work in the next few hours

the glove compartment is inaccurately named

i truly believe that everyone is beautiful. somehow. some so much more visibly than others. but nonetheless, everyone. i hate to be cynical, or maybe its just the fact that we are insecure searching young adults, but it just amazes me how beauty so blatantly obvious and constantly stated, is rarely accepted by the person who emits it. or how it seems as though sometimes, so many people find you beautiful but you still find an empty space where the one person you wish saw you so beautiful, still doesn't seem to think so. i think that's why a lot of people find rationalization in being easy or whatever you want to call it. they get the automatic content of being "beautiful" for those few moments but are always subconciously truly searching for the deeper kind of admiration that doesn't easily pass. i smile modestly as people may say the most wonderful things but sometimes it seems like that space still hasn't been filled. i find people that i think could fix it all but it doesn't seem to work. but as they say, everything happens for a reason. i only hope that the person and reason i search for (or don't search for and hope they come along) will come...

how bout a round of applause.

i'd like to give a large thank you to steven, paulina, dj, bert, pola, and hailey for making me go from incredibly sad to very much happy in a matter of hours. and that was all in chronological order too by the way

they're the bomb, no joke

and see these people along the edges? yeah, i really need to hang out with them. its almost mandatory.

i bought a sweater vest yesterday, too. and its nice. i feel kind of edgy wearing it. modern. cool. i'm happy now, generally.


and so without further a do, if anyone would like to call or text and schedule anything, i'd be more than willing. i'll just be here maybe getting to my summer assignments sometime in the near future.

he's weird yet dear to me.

i think that one of the cutest nicest most amazing things ever
is when you're in a horribly sad mood and its late at night
and then your friend drives by just to say hi and give you a hug


i have the best friends,
and of course that's what everyone says,
but i'm saying it anyway.


the puppy keeps whining. my goodness. it'll be okay...
i think.




it seems as though things have taken a turn, like i'm on a different page. maybe this is what happens to me when i am not surrounded with the other people at school, talking everyday. i feel as though i've started thinking more...and now i've changed (whether good or bad, i still don't really know). some people, i just don't seem to click with as much anymore, and some different interests are coming to me. its as though, dare i say, i've grown up. but of course, i still have quiteee a ways to go.



like the puppy.
still whining...

jackson wrigley.

i'm back from austin with a few things to say.

1. we got a new puppy named jack
and he is pretty darn cute

you really can't disagree with that. we were playing in the yard earlier
he likes cameras



2. i ate at the country's SMALLEST ihop. that's right. i thought that was pretty interesting

3. i went to 6th street, and 23rd. its great. everyone is so unique and trendy. i chatted it up with hippies and bought a bracelet, tie dye shirt, heart belt buckle, and a neon backpack which i am all really stoked about

4. my brother is cuteeeee, like, i don't mean to sound weird. but i was snapping pictures, and got this one of him at the hotel blow-drying his hair and i think its so cute


5. ummm i really need to hang out with a lot of people. there's a week left. a week, ahhh! and so much left to do. but i'm trying to enjoy it all and make it the bomb. :)

6. oh lastly. they are apparently discontinuing blackberry sprite
which all i have to say about that is,

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?







that's all folks!

happiness.

you will find it.

like dominoes.

straight hair, gone.
you missed it.

as the summer comes way too quickly to an end, i know exactly what i want to do with the remaining time. but coincidentally its usually these things that end up not working out. it takes two. sometimes three. never just one. if you catch my drift. i find this year's summer thoroughly disappointing compared to last, and i can't help but wonder if there is anything i can do to change it all in the last week and a half. right now its amounting to a few fun nights out, blackberry sprite, new music, some new pictures that make me smile, and unlimited texting.


anyhow, i hope that regardless, your summer has felt beautiful and fulfilling in every way.

she took on a new appearance.

today i got my hair straightened. nothing permanent, they just have to straighten it to get the layers right. a nice little change for a day or two. its kind of cool to be able to run your fingers through your hair, ya know? oh and i passed my driving test! 99. bam.

meteor shower= disappointing.
too cloudy and too close to the city. love you, houston.




i am naive and small
an infant star of weak light
but somewhere, adored through the darkest of night

and you,
much more like the old and wise star
still fighting to glow despite adversity so far

be always aware that no matter how "bright"
it is you that shines most in this little star's night.

these days.

today was one of the more relaxed days i've had in quite a while. as sad as it sounds, it feels as though i tend to have less of these carefree life-loving days lately. as to why, i can pretty much pinpoint where it began and those who know me well, or have stuck around long enough so that it became evident, you know exactly what i'm talking about.


i posted too many myspace bulletins and wore a neon green t-shirt. my mom finished a 1038 piece puzzle with the help of my best friend. i sifted through old pictures to find this one from rock city, last summer. i ate microwave smores and i am now happily awaiting a meteor shower. after i take a shower, the water kind.

the last time i saw a shooting star, was a beautiful day. though the one i spent it with is now far away, i hope that maybe this will rekindle the same carefree and simplistic beauty...it was just a year ago.